F that!

31 Jan

Would you drop the bomb?

Did anyone else catch this story in the news?  Apparently the ass-kisser students at two middle schools in Mobile County, Alabamer, have joined forces to establish February 14th as “No Cussing Day”.  These little lost children of Ned Flanders have finagled the county commission into spending $5000 large to have a dweeby teen from California fly in and talk about how she started her own First Amendment death knell, the No Cussing Club.  And this is on the heels of Barry Barack just talking about cutting the guv’ment spending in his big speech last week.  Is this really the best way the consistently low ranking Alabama school system can spend their education dollars?

Forget the issue as to whether or not this is responsible state spending.  Why would endorsing a word police to ban profanity be a good idea?  Who does it hurt?  And what normal kid is going along with this?  This tomfoolery is like when Miley Cyrus was wearing that purity ring just to appease the haters and her Daddy.  Truthfully, I’d be off-put if one of my kids started talking spouting off like a short-order cook at a truck stop, and it makes my skin crawl when Snakebite says “crud”, but eventually it’s going to happen.  And when it does, what a good release it can be.  The only thing that gives me any degree of relief and satisfaction when I drop something heavy on my foot is to go on a potty mouth bender.  When someone cuts me off in traffic, I don’t go all Snoop -y Dogg by pulling out my gat and poppin’ a cap in they ass.  Oh, hell no!  I scream at the top of my lungs (with the windows rolled up and the doors locked,  ) that I hope all manner of ill, profane will rains on them hard.  But I am a grown up, so I can say pretty much whatever I want to.  I never joined any sort of guilt club to keep me from vomiting cuss words before breakfast.

But admit it, there is something inherently funny about kids with the bad mouth…

Talladega Nights' Walker and Texas Ranger

Who didn’t love Ricky Bobby’s little monsters leaning into Grandpaw Chip and threatening to go at him “like a spider monkey”, among other things?

Tanner Boyle

Undoubtedly, the first time that I heard a kid cuss was when I saw The Bad News Bears in 1976.  I think I cussed behind the house and in the woods every chance I got for a solid month afterwards.   Tanner remains one of my most favorite cultural references to date.

A Christmas Story's Ralphie

Remember when Ralphie got busted for not saying “fudge” in A Christmas Story? He said “THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of cuss words, the f-dash-dash-dash” one.  And on a side note, my most favorite word.  Ever.

Cartman cusses like my Aunt Vesta used to

The dirtiest little mouths, though, are animated and beeped out on South Park.  If you think kids dropping the f-bomb language is funny, it’s even funnier when they are cartoons.

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