Tres amis

15 Apr

Beckoning you to the Laughing Skull

Trey Toler and Friends are the deal for this weekend at the Laughing Skull.  Trey has been busy as shit and I’m amazed that he has time for us people.  I mean, he’s out of the closet in real life, but has been going back in the closet for The Regular Guys show.  Have you heard him on 100.5 fm rooting around in the closets and drawers of local celebrities and calling out fashion douche baggery and tackiness?  And the comedy festival is finally done.  Whew!

Tushar Singh hosted Trey and his “friends” last night and I must say…it was my favorite Tushar night.  The front row of the club was taken up by a group of guys in town for a bachelor party weekend.  Tonight was their “warm up” and Tushar ran with the theme and told us about a bachelor party that he once attended.  Well, it ended up being more of a spa day at an Asian massage parlor.   It doesn’t quite sound like the same set up as when I book a little “me” time at Spa Sydell.  I don’t know if his Mom reads reviews so I am definitely not going to write a thing about the degrees of service, being weirded out by the am talk show that plays in place of ambient Zamfir pan flute nature music, or the ATM machine that sits where the spring water keg should be.

Michael Albanese finally has clarified for me what it means when somebody “pokes” me on Facebook.  It’s means exactly what my Mr. says it does.  Michael is multi-talented and is actually in a movie that is being released in June.  Thinking ahead to what will be certain celebrity, Michael has been working on having a catch phrase.  Paris Hilton has “That’s hot!” Charlie Sheen has “Winning, duh!”  Audra Lee had “See you next time…on Kids’ Beat!”  What did he come up with?  “…And that’s how I got AIDS!”  Sounds like a winner!  Especially for Atlanta.

Joe Gallois has been getting lean in the New Year.  As a chick, I am always interested in labor stories and how people have lost weight.  This could be why I love TLC.  According to Joe, dropping the pounds is as simple as no longer obsessively playing the McDonald’s Monopoly game.  Sounds easy enough.  But Joe is being smart, not just with food choices, but as a consumer.  TV commercials that tell him that just because he has a door, he has a gym are not sucking him in.

Dave Stone is one of the Beards of Comedy and he is a fan of important movies.  Like Red Dawn.  He was affected greatly by that one, and immediately began training should there ever be an invasion in Woodstock.  This “training” mainly means that there are shit loads of canned goods buried all through his parents’ lawn.  Dave broached a subject that I wonder about as I sit in carpool line everyday.  What are people thinking with all of the customized family deals all over their cars?  I can know their monogram, who they voted for, where their kids go to school, what sports teams they play on…this has got to be catnip for molesters and creeps.  I know that we are right about this.

Nicole Chiles is hooty and great on the fly.  Earlier I realized that being poked on Facebook could be flattering, but now Nicole tells me that anal doesn’t really count as sex.  Oh, well.  But we can agree that people with new babies who also have Facebook will bore you to tears.  But at the same time, there are those Facebookers who use their status update as a platform for their neurosis and it’s their special place to beg for attention.  That drama is bad, too.  Nicole is married and had a lot of advice for the bachelor party about getting doughnut fat afterwards, the frequency of sex dipping and how acquiring home mortgages will be like getting STDs when they were single.  Because really, what’s one more?

Andy Sandford

Another Beard, Andy Sandford, dropped in tonight.  He’s done a great job with his New Year’s Resolution of “being a better person”.  It’s easy to succeed when your goals are vague.  But being a better person doesn’t mean that you have to run around treating others, as you would want to be treated.  Oh, God though.  What would that mean if it did?

Ben Owen that the gays are fighting for all of the wrong things.  Why on earth are they fussing so much so that they can be married?  Being gay is like the best thing ever for men, whose natural inclination is to stay single.  Marriage just being illegal is such an easy solution.  And what about making a huge stink to be in the military?  Really?  Why would anyone pitch a hissy to go sit in a desert across the world?

Karen Hilton

Karen Hilton is no half-ass devil worshiper.  None of them are, for that matter.  All devil worshipers are hardcore.  Now, we all know that I love language, grammar and ignoring rules about run-on sentences so it makes my heart skip with joy when people can make funny about word-smithing and usage so you can just imagine that I was thrilled when Karen talked about adding new words to the American dictionary.  “Ginormous” made it this year, but “dingleberry” (a favorite of mine, by the way) remains shut out.

Trey Toler

Trey Toler topped the night off with his thing.  Our bachelors were planning to visit some strip clubs while in town and Trey said that his first strip club was the Cleremont Lounge.   This explains much about Trey’s “lifestyle choice” and why he thinks of the uterus as just a baby house.  With prom season in full swing, Trey did address “prom babies” left in toilets.  It’s not what you’re thinking. He also waxed a bit about suicide and how selfish people are who skip down this lane.  Especially when it’s your Xanax that they’ve o.d.ed on.  Now, THAT would be a problem…how would you get more, especially while you’re having this crisis of dealing with a friend’s suicide?  I think the take away here is that you need to hide your good shit when your unstable friends drop in for a visit.

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