Flav’s Fried Chicken: tastes like failure

26 Apr

Winner, winner? Not so much...

I’ve got some bad news for those of you who have been planning your summer vacation around a road trip to Clinton, Iowa to eat at the flagship Flav’s Fried Chicken.  Just four months after its grand opening, FCC has turned off the fryer and closed its front door.  Moment of silence.  And as for those hundreds more Flav’s Fried Chicken restaurants that were planned as franchising opportunities?  I know, I know.  Pour a little of your forty on the ground for respect.

You might ask, “How could a fried chicken joint in an old Long John Silver’s, helmed by this smart dude in the middle of nowhere, fail?”

Yeah boyeee!

A couple of months ago there were reports that employee’s paychecks were bouncing.  Flav said it wasn’t true and that those employees were just “haters” who were more or less just jealous that Flav was there.  Or they were hatin’ on him for being fired.  Either way.  One report said there was just a glitch in the credit software, or something.   Even the system was hatin’.  But not Flav.  He was keepin’ it real.

And certainly, it wasn’t the innovative concept of fried chicken that didn’t deliver.  According to Flavor Flav, his  business partner, Nick Cimino, may have not been entirely on the ball.  Say’s Flav, “Let me be straight up with you, I went up inside there on April 2nd and I found potato salad that expired on February 28.”  Yes, he said “went up inside there”, like he was conducting a cavity search for something rancid and scored.  Eew!

Tater salad

However, Cimino claims that Flavor Flav is a fraud.  I can’t imagine how on earth he could have misrepresented himself to be anything other than this…

Business man Flavor Flav

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2 Responses to “Flav’s Fried Chicken: tastes like failure”

  1. Laurel April 26, 2011 at 7:44 am #

    I did not realize that Flav had ventured into the culinary business world. Too bad I missed it.

    • Hot damn, Charlotte Ann! April 26, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

      When the shop opened in January there were a smattering of articles about it and several of them reported that Flavor Flav had a culinary degree…which I thought was pretty impressive. Well, it would seem that there are degrees of degrees, if you know what I mean. Upon digging around what I discovered is that he got a cooking certificate while on the vocational track at a school he dropped out of in the 11th grade. At some point he worked as a cook in a court house. Not quite Le Cordon Bleu.

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