5 Songs about cannibalism that will eat at your soul

28 Apr

By and large, I think that most pop and rock songs are about love, playing in a band, being misunderstood or excitement over a day of the week.  Rap songs are predominantly about prosecution, pimping, money, drugs or some combination of all of the above.  Funk and soul are about dancing and making the sweet, sweet love with a foxy lady. Of course, the topics for songwriting are endless and can lean to the silly, autobiographical, serious or mundane.  Melanie Safka wrote and sang the absurd “Brand New Key” in 1971, about her roller skates.  Madonna, Ben Folds, Squeeze, XTC and any band with working biology have waxed about unplanned pregnancies.  Jimmy Buffett crooned about cheeseburgers of all things.  Tommy Tutone, Squeeze and Mike Jones all have lyrically tackled phone numbers.  However, there is one song topic that only a brave few have really dissected.  Without further ado, in no order, I give you five songs about cannibalism:

1.  “Timothy” by The Buoys:  I single-handedly tried to get this song going again during the Chilean miner crisis and excavation of 2010, but…wait for it…no one was biting.  Timothy chronicles the fate of three trapped and hungry miners.  Guess which one doesn’t make it out alive.  Of note is that Rupert Holmes was a member of The Buoys and is responsible for “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)”.   He should fry for that.

2.  “I Eat Cannibals, Part 1” by Toto Coelo:  It’s a new wave dance song about liking someone so much that you just want to eat them up.  My favorite line is “Healthy recipe, What you got is good for me”.  Forget the creepy insinuation of cooking someone in a stew pot, I am pretty sure that a restraining order could have been issued for the bad melody alone.  There was a Part 2, but it never got the airplay of Part 1.  People were full after the first one.  Really, it’s a disorder at this point.  I can’t seem to help myself with the bad puns.

3.  “I am a Cannibal” by Ke$ha” – Oh, Ke$ha…you try so hard, yet fail so miserably.  Busting a rhyme about Jeffrey Dahmer in auto-tune just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  This song was meant to be edgy and controversial.  Instead it smacks of something that bored middle-school girls would write during study hall to kill time.  When will Ke$ha write a song that really bares her soul and shows who she is as an artist, and call it “I’m a Talentless A-hole”?

4.  “Michael” by Guadalcanal Diary:  While “Michael” never explicitly addresses eating or being eaten, it is most certainly about the idealistic Michael Rockefeller.  Yes THAT Rockefeller, who disappeared in New Guinea in 1961 and was never found.  Reports from local peoples were that he fell victim to headhunters.  I don’t really have a funny quip about that.  It’s too disturbing.  Also, both band and song are a bit obscure, so I couldn’t locate a clip.  However, if the notion of this song whets your appetite for more information (okay, there…I slid one in), check this out, then this and finally this from the In Search Of series, narrated by Mr. Spock Leonard Nimoy.

5.  “Maneater” by Hall and Oates:  I always knew that there was something dark lurking behind Oates’ mustache!  While the song may present as being about an unscrupulous hooker, I choose to believe that it isn’t about a woman hungry for attention and money at all.  The song wasn’t called “Dollar Grabber” and John Hall must have warned that “she’ll chew you up” no less that a gazillion times in the song.  I think it is what it says it is.  She’s got the hungry for men…she’s a man eater.

An honorable mention goes to…

Before there was South Park, Trey Parker’s first feature film was Cannibal! The MusicalIt’s based on the events surrounding the conviction of Alferd Packer, who allegedly had a few friends for lunch during an 1874 expedition through Colorado.  Set to campy tunes and horrific special effects.  Atlanta’s own Dad’s Garage Theatre has even staged a production based on this cult film.  Personally, I thought it was unwatchable.  I lasted about twenty minutes before I cursed Netflix and threw in the towel.

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5 Responses to “5 Songs about cannibalism that will eat at your soul”

  1. Michael Poplawski January 15, 2012 at 4:04 pm #

    Hmmm, tasty list!

    My two favourites on this subject aren’t on this list: “Eat the Rich” by Motörhead and “Mein Teil” by Rammstein. Great tunes!

    • Hot damn, Charlotte Ann! January 15, 2012 at 5:17 pm #

      Nice catch! OMG…How could I have missed “Eat the Rich”, with Lemmy suggesting biting his bone? I must have blocked it out! I don’t know the Rammstein song. They are kinda too German for me.

  2. Douglas Einer December 28, 2012 at 1:44 am #

    Here’s another one:

    C W McCall Cannibal Song (Alfred Packer)

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