I know. I know. I’ve been absent a bit lately. Okay, a lot. Sorry, if by chance you have been counting on me. Here’s the deal: I left my full-time-part time job helping pageant queens, prom organizers and bridezillas get their whole-sale sparkle on a few months back. This was a good thing. Everybody wins and I had the opportunity to really pursue writing as a full-time gig.
What happened instead was holiday bullshit and an opportunity to get to know Kelly Ripa better….damn minx. How much do we LOVE Kelly? I wrapped packages, made merry and took care of stuff. And then God never sent me winter. I had to take advantage of nice days while thought I could….and here it is almost April and not a full-length fur made it out of this house in 2012. Some mink car coats maybe made it out twice. But not any more than that? Sads.
So, I have thrown myself in to full-on Stepford. For instance, today? I gave my front loading clothes washing robot a mechanical colonic with white vinegar, then bleach, then a hot rinse, finished by a diluted bleach wipe-down, coupled with a dry cloth buffing. My hands now smell like a tidy rest-stop. Yesterday, I painted my kids’ bathroom ceiling sea-glass green. ‘Cause why? I dunno. Seemed cool. And the day before that? I divided and transplanted perennials, wrote sympathy cards and re-heated left-overs. Are you as satisfied as I am? Doubtful.
It is entirely possible that I am either having a midlife crisis or an existential crisis. Either way.